“DON’T BE ASHAMED OF YOUR STORY. IT WILL INSPIRE OTHERS.”Anonymous
Well, after reading my first post I am sure some of you are thinking “woah, ok why are you exposing yourself like that?” or why would I want to? The answer is: I told myself when I started this blog I wanted to be 100% honest with others and not even just for everyone else, I need to be honest with myself. I need to be truthful about why I am the way I am so I am aware and I can start actually making real, healthy changes for myself. If I lie about my weight, my past experiences however embarrassing and shameful they are, what I eat in a day or say that I went to the gym when I actually didn’t, who would that be helping? No one. Not even myself by trying to make myself look better by lying to myself. My background story is important. It is my real life struggle. Something I have to deal with every day when I wake up, alllll the hours of the day I am awake and when I fall asleep at night. 24/7. 365.
BUT, The Diet Diary is not about eating disorders. Yes, they do play a part in what this is, but it is not the main focus. My goal with my first post was not to make anyone feel sorry for me or get some sort of attention or sympathy. What I think you thought I was saying is “I don’t like myself and I don’t think I am pretty and this is what I am doing to myself because of that.” But what I was actually trying to say is; I like myself, but I want to be better and this is what I have done in the past to make myself feel “better”, but I need another solution. And that is what The Diet Diary is. It is me searching and testing out new ways to reach all of my physical and mental goals while hopefully inspiring someone with real results, numbers, progress photos and many longgg deep thoughts along the way. My real life Diet Diary, except it’s not a secret like a normal diary because I’ve decided to share this with you.
And yes, OF COURSE this is terrifying. All I can think about is who has read my most personal post and what are they thinking of me now that they know one of my deepest and embarrassing secrets? Are they making fun of me in a group chat for being so vulnerable? Do they think I think I am special or something because I have a problem? And the most horrifying thought is “what will my family and my closest friends think?” Will they think of me different or, even WORSE: treat me differently? Which is CRAZY to think, because I know they love me the most and they wouldn’t judge me for what I’ve gone through and talking about it. Except my mom, lol she’ll probably care. But, I’ll deal with that later.. maybe.
Also, I would like to say thank you for everyone who reached out and messaged me yesterday. Thank you for all of the nice words and most importantly the support for making me feel like I’m not just making an idiot of myself online and wasting my time. I am actually so surprised how many people even looked at the post yesterday. In fact, it’s kinda blowing my mind at the moment. I hope I can inspire at least one of you or at least someone can feel like they have someone they can relate to because I know I’m not the only person out there who has struggled with body image issues and it’s definitely not the easiest thing in the world to talk about and I am here for you if you ever need to talk.
I have BIG things planned for this blog. I am so overly excited and terrified at the same time. And now that I’ve gotten all of this hoopla of me explaining myself and what The Diet Diary is to you out of the way we can finally get into all the juicy things I really want to talk about.
Make sure you subscribe to the newsletter on the Home Page so you never miss a post and leave a comment below on what you look forward to seeing and hearing me post next!